We Will Not Survive.
Words, As Fruit #45
I have been running to and from this piece for weeks now. The title alone is daunting. The thought, and idea…this possibility of not surviving is terrifying. The feeling is visceral but this feeling is less in response to not surviving and more in relation to what my mind believes is on the other side, because if we do not survive, what do we do?
Die?
2024 was a year of reveal. A year of unfurling truths and realities, bitter and sweet, mystifying, surprising, horrifying and beautiful all at the same time. As deeply as my heart ached, it has softened to the same depth. 2024 also brought about a range of emotional flows and feeling much of which words cannot fully describe. And 2024 brought questions. More questions than there are answers and the realization that sometimes the question is itself a form of answer, a kind of restless resting place where I am not comforted by certainty but met with the open arms of opportunity pushing me to journey in curiosity, and explore the winding roads of self-examination, growth and expansion.
‘We Will Not Survive’ started as a question. One which I’d heard before, but in a different way than I am hearing it now. In 2001, during a conversation at the Connecticut Forum with Toni Morrison1, Frank McCourt and Moderator Juan Williams, an audience member asked the question, “How do you survive whole in a world where we're all victims of something?” Morrison’s reply is one I always come back to,
"Sometimes you don't survive whole, you just survive in part. But the grandeur of life is that attempt. It’s not about that solution. It is about being as fearless as one can and behaving as beautifully as one can under completely impossible circumstances".
The question and notion of survival resurfaced again during a meditative talk with Sydney Reece. For anyone reading, or listening, I invite you to pause, click through the link on this name, learn more about her, her work and, if you live in the Los Angeles area, I invite you to join me at Black Being LA on the 4th Sunday of every month for her Meditation Group (next meditation is Sunday, January 26th. You can register HERE.)
During Sydney’s November 2024 meditation, I was left stunned when she calmly, yet firmly, offered, “We will not survive. Nothing survives.” Part of the agreement in living is that we will die. And so, it would seem that the question is less about how, or even if we will survive, and more of an invitation to contemplate and decide how we will live.
How do we live?
How are we living?
How are we living as individuals who are also apart of a global community?
How, or do we even consider others in our daily lives?
There are so many presently not surviving, living under conditions and circumstances that even as we witness and watch, we can not truly comprehend because we are not living it.
There are many who, even as efforts persist to erase, and silence them, even as they are subjected to unfathomable violences, they choose to move with kindness, faith and trust, and see through the lenses of an other worldly kind of Love.
I am always looking to Nature. Looking at how the earth sustains herself, how she maintains and enables life despite the disregard, harm and abuses we inflict. For this question, ‘How do we live?’ I went inward and looked at myself as an earth, this life, all that surrounds it and supports it, as its soil, and I begin writing out a list of ingredients, soil’s sustenance. This list is by no means final or exhaustive but it’s a starting point. A list of elements which are needed for me to live as fully and beautifully as I can.
Many of these ingredients, these necessary elements for sustaining life, are not free, are not accessible or available without financial or institutional resources, people and community that can act as bridges for their access. So I recognize that I myself am an ingredient, a container, a vessel, a bridge.
This list also does not include universal needs: food, clothing, money, health care, not to ignore these as essentials, but to nudge us to consider other and often overlooked elements necessary to our full being:
Art, Imagination, Creativity (creative environments), Home (both in self, others, and physical spaces), Compassion, Love, Integrity, Truth, Vulnerability, Consciousness, Connection, Softness, Kindness, Grace, Consideration, Patience, Courage, Care, Empathy, Openness, Faith (not to be confused with Religion and/or dogma), Trust, Devotion, Ceremony, Ritual, Practice, Service (to be in service), Ease, Alignment, Flow, Mindfulness, Awareness, Literature, Knowledge, Wisdom, Discernment, Comprehension, Wellness (mental, physical, spiritual, emotional), Movement, Joy, Laughter, Gratitude, Music, Play, Quiet, Stillness, Rest, Lessons, Community, Boundaries, Safety, Sanctuary.
And there is one element I have had the privilege of receiving everyday of this life to varying degrees, choice. Choice in who I want to be, and choice in how I want to live out this being.
“We are already born. We are going to die so we have to do something interesting that you respect in between.”
TONI MORRISON
Thank you for lending me your time. For giving me the gift of your attention. I trust these words will be fruitful, for this day and days to come.
– Ẹniafẹ Isis, Words, As Fruit.
CT Forum Toni Morrison on Trauma, Survival and Meaning
it took me a few days to be ready to read this. I love this title. it provoked me to confront a fear I have/had of not surviving. with you words and Ms.Morrison's guidance, my fear soothed over to be PRESENT, instead of fearing our inevitable transition. powerful post.
Love Toni Morison’s response to that question. "Sometimes you don't survive whole, you just survive in part. But the grandeur of life is that attempt. It’s not about that solution. It is about being as fearless as one can and behaving as beautifully as one can under completely impossible circumstances". It resonates with me deeply.