I've Left Substack.

reflections on choice, risk, responsibility, agency and where you can (virtually) find me.

[Note: Words, As Fruit: 001 - Beginning Again newsletter has been released. A copy can be viewed HERE.

eniafeisis.com is still under construction but if ever you’re looking for me, the words, the language, the work, that is where you’ll find them.]

---

There’s a 1978 ‘A Day with Toni Morrison’ Interview where Morrison she says,

“I think that freedom ideally is being able to choose your responsibilities. Not, not having any responsibilities, but being able to choose which things you want to be responsible for.”

I choose to be responsible for myself, my choices, my actions, inactions, my words, my awareness, and my commitment to seeing the truth of the way things are, and the affect of these ways. Not just in the ways the truth, and the ways, affect me but the ways in which they affect this earth, life and lives beyond my own and immediate family, friends, community, and loved ones.

This freedom, this responsibility is a hefty weight. A heavy that words will never be able to fully express or describe, but I continue to try…try to hold the words and the weight with tenderness, grace, consideration and care.

Last week, a friend shared a 2023 interview with Substack’s CEO, Chris Best. This interview, in my opinion, was not his best but it was revealing, and maybe this is a kind of “best”. I won’t rehash the interview, and do hope that you watch it for yourself, but in essence, Best stated that, in reference to Substack notes, censorship would not be extended to hate speech. The speech that was provided as an example for Best to react to was, “All brown people are animals and shouldn’t be allowed in america”...

The interview goes deeper and illuminates my own lived experience of the status quo since this country’s founding, when hate - in action, in speech, in politics, in education, in law etc. - is unacceptable ONLY when it is directed toward those which society has indoctrinated us to believe are to forever be protected from it, but have full carte blanche to be the orchestrators and administers of it. This group of administers and orchestrators is primarily made up of those who hold the same ideologies of this country’s founding members. Ideologies of -isms rooted in white supremacy - colonialism, racism, sexism, capitalism. Because these isms are so purposely and intricately woven into the fabric of this country, and society, it is nearly impossible to find any corporate entity that doesn’t, on some level, embody and perpetuate these ideological beliefs. Regardless, I believe deeply that the continued embedding of these -isms is a choice and I am trying with all my might to do one of two things with my choice:

1. Divest and untether, not just from platforms, brands, corporations, entities, environments and systems which reinforce and uphold these isms, but I am trying to untether from all the ways in which these isms exist within my own thoughts, perceptions and perspective, because another truth is that, “problematic”, and paradox, exists everywhere, including within myself.

2. Speak up, call in (or out), petition, and work from within the platforms, brands, corporations, entities, etc. in attempt to see if change is possible.

In this case, I’m choosing the responsibility of option 1.

Is choosing this responsibility, not just in this case but in life overall, hard…as fuck?

Yes.

Does choosing this responsibility require deep consideration and more sacrifice and risk than I was, and still often am, prepared for?

Yes.

Are risk and sacrifice necessary to creating pathways for futures within which we (I) can be more well and whole; futures that don’t mirror the tyranny, brutality, subjugation, repression, and the list goes on, of the present, or past?

Yes.

Does the “future” include the next moment, minute, hour, day, tomorrow, next week, next year?

Yes.

To put things plainly, I am saddened by how shitty, hateful and violent the minds of the majority of those in “power” are. But we (I) are in power too. To believe otherwise would be detrimental to faiths, trusts, hopes, consciousness, creativity, imagination, and agency.

Agency is in large part what all of this - what is happening within us, outside of us, around us, locally, domestically, and aboard - is really all about, because if we who have rights and freedoms, access and power, are not using the agency these rights, freedom, access, power, and privilege, afford us, then what is all this right and freedom for?

Recently I had the opportunity to attend a screening of the 2024 documentary film, Sudan, Remember Us. At one point in the film, one of the young Sudanese activists says,

“My rights are worth nothing if you have none.”

---

So what’s next?

For now I am leaning towards sharing and cataloging my pieces through my Square Space site. Square Space it seems has, over the years, made adjustments to its acceptable use policies based on past public pressure regarding knowingly hosting white supremist sites.

I might also choose to lean in and take a slight pause so I can finish writing my first book. A book that is becoming so much more than I could have ever imagined it could be.

If you are not currently subscribed to my personal newsletter, and would like to the email list, please visit eniafeisis.com, scroll down and click ‘Subscribe To My Newsletter’. Once I send out the next newsletter, if you find that you are subscribed and do not wish to be, please, unsubscribe. For those considering subscribing, please know that I endeavor to continue to be intentional and not overwhelm your inbox. There will be one general newsletter a month featuring words from myself or others and (I am still figuring this part out) there may be one additional monthly email with offerings announcements.

Heads up for anyone who has read (or listened) this far, I have a Meditative Write-In, my first in-person experience since 2024, coming up in Los Angeles, on Saturday, February 28th. There will be a newsletter release, in coming days, with more details.

Before I go, I want to nestle in gratitude. This part is going to be slightly lengthy. There are numerous other writers, as listed out below, whose recommendation of Words, As Fruit has allowed others to find me. To give you an idea of just how impactful these recommendations have been I’ll share these numbers:

- Total number of Words, As Fruit subscribers: 2,200

- Total number of subscriptions from recommendations: 1,037

This list is a bit lengthy but, and, simply, including it is important to me.

Thank you Jamila Bradley , Nadia Meli , Brandie Freely , Mariah Maddox , The Landline , GG Renee Hill , Garden of the Imaginal: Creativity, Mysticism & Authenticity , Thoughts On Life , Love Notes & Annotations , Songs Of A Black Dove , Anaïs Charles , Oceana Sawyer , Kira Buckley , Digital Disobedience , leeza joneé , Savoring The Season , Natasha Helwig , 13th & South , Claudia Silva , The Sacred Yes , Ryanne Summer , Emma Goulding , how we liv , the mundane mercies , Laura Bee Rita Wilson , then comes the middle , Gugu Nkabinde , Salt Eaters Collective , An Ode to Devotion , Kristian Le’Chelle , Kanika , Maurissa , carly brown , Tahna Bargen-Lema , Chantelle Bacigalupo , Jodi Moore Lewis , Jasmine Gayle , resonate. radiate. , Juliea Rorie , Ariel.Bre'ay , Delonda Yvette , Miss Karrine , Intuitive Whispers , From My Heart to You , SlimPickenss , Alicia , Tea Colón , Mik Brewer , This Late Bloomer , Vitaliy Katsenelson , Trea’s Substack , default settings , Taty Sapp , Carmen Munoz-Sigala , The Taste of Wild Water , Daughter’s Substack , divine nuance. , Misha Khan , Deya's Delights , Ariana , creative economy 🌎 , dreamscape , Jess Song , Jamal Robinson , The Cottage Cue , Tifanei , Lisa 🪷 Goddess Lakshunmet , AMARA ~• , Niquelle , Caitlin Kotula , The Alkhemey Of Temptation , Through Moments of Burn to Bloom

---

All for now. If you stayed, reading or listening, THANK YOU.

Until soon.

In gratitude,

Ẹniafẹ Isis, Words As Fruit.