001. The Collection Plate
Tasting Our Words.
*thoughts in the moment*
A while back, a had a conversation with my then boyfriend about the value of words, the value I place upon words. I know the value I place upon words is not one that everyone shares and, of course, it is not words alone that I deem important. Actions, and impact, are similarly, and not necessarily or always equally, weighted.
During this conversation, the then boyfriend expressed to me how words essentially, to him, meant nothing. To them actions were paramount. It wasn’t until this very moment, when I came to sit and write out my reflections on this conversation that I am able to sift/sort through the language to explain my understanding of how words and actions relate to one another.
Words often make up the soil that violence roots in.
The words we use to speak to each other. The words we use to speak about one another.
Words breed perspective and perception
— how we look at, and see each other, how we look at, and see ourselves, how we feel about one another, how we feel towards each other, how and to whom we acknowledge and respect, how and to whom we attribute, or ascertain, worth and value.
Growing up, so many of us heard our elders say, “Watch your mouth.”, and “Did you taste those words before you spit them out?”. And, I have a new one,
“If you swallowed your words, would they choke you?”
Words don’t just have meaning, words have energy and create impact. Words can lift someone up or break someone down.
May we all spend a little more time tasting our words, before we spit them out.
P.S.
This past relationship was an emotionally abuse one. It took me a couple of years, after the relationship had ended, to be willing to admit and speak the truth about it. I felt that admitting the abuse was also an admittance of my weakness — admittance that I was/am weak. The emotional abuse was foreshadowed by the way in which I was spoken to. It started right there…with the language. Language which I was told meant nothing…
Sticks and stones may break our bones and words too, can hurt us.
I find it fascinating how different we all are. How there are people who will really say, words mean nothing to them. Although I'd argue that if they were on the receiving end of hurtful words or really beautiful words, it would have an impact even if they say it doesn't. I just can't fathom it. I love you and your words my friend. And I love this reflection. It's so so true. Words MATTER. A huge great big deal.
I think for me, I pay attention to or am sensitive about how you are using words. The same word can mean different things, especially if the contexts differ. So for me, the most frequent question I ask is „what do you mean by …?“ I understand the words but they sometimes don’t make sense to me in the ways they were expressed. Thank you for this! This is something that will stay with me for a while.