Meet-Cute: A Reminder of Self.
Words, As Fruit. #18
A few years ago, in the midst of working through some heartache, while also trying to work through the pages of the “book”, I shared with someone that I felt like I couldn’t write, didn’t want to write, because I didn’t want to write from where I was. At the time, where I was was a place of unrest and sadness, separation and longing; longing more for myself than anyone else, though at that time I wasn’t able to see it in this way. I came out of that place understanding that because of the way this gift is setup up, wherein writing serves as a channel, a way in as well as out, I have to write from where I am because I have to write from, and tell the truth.
As I searched and chased the topic and words for this Sunday’s letter, which I almost didn’t write, I remembered about this ‘writing from where I am’. Where I am right currently is in a meeting place. In the past I’ve referred to this place as an estuary, the place where multiple bodies of water meet.
In film and television there is something called a “meet-cute”. It is defined as an, “amusing or charming first encounter between two characters that leads to the development of a romantic relationship between them.” Though I’m sure it was never meant to be experienced, or used in reference to what I am speaking of here, I do believe that in life we have, but don’t often recognize, or even allow, meet-cutes with ourselves. This may be a present self with a coming or returning self, or an inner self with an outer self or, a defined self with a wandering and curious self. This week’s meet-cute was with my defined self, and my curious self.
As the already defined version of who I am, or who I have understood myself to be, I have a fairly good handle on my “needs”. I put needs in quotes because my curious self has been making it abundantly clear that I’m not as certain of these needs as I think I am. My inner self, in the softness of late nights, and the quiet of early mornings, has been asking me to re-acquaint myself not only my current needs, but my wants and desires too. And my inner self has been reminding me that I am always growing and changing, and so my wants, needs and desires will grow and change too. In order to keep up, to remain well acquainted, I have to take time, slow down, be willing and patient, and listen to me.
And this is what I want to convey in this Sunday’s letter. I know we are all enmeshed in a world that requires so much of us, often more than we have to give. We must adult and support ourselves, we must maintain jobs and positions, pay bills, take care of others, as well as ourselves, make a living, and make a life, keep our peace and stay sane all at the same time. In all of this it is easy to lose sight of ourselves and what we need, at our roots, and at our core.
What I will always do is remind myself, as well as other of us. Our inside selves, the selves that come whispering softly, and sometimes loudly, summoning us to our very own a meet-cutes, inviting us to remain curious about ourselves, to know ourselves intimately, to charm and romance, and tend to our needs. I will always remind us of the importance of making, taking, and spending time with the most important person in our lives.
Ourselves.
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Parting Words:
— ẹniafẹ isis
An important reflection ! It reminds me of Rilke's words in Letters to a Young Poet “What is necessary, after all, is only this: solitude, vast inner solitude. To walk inside yourself and meet no one for hours—that is what you must be able to attain.”